


Monster in the mirror

by Littledanceingdragons



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, BAMF Natsu Dragneel, Child Abandonment, M/M, Natsu is E.N.D, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:47:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24591796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Littledanceingdragons/pseuds/Littledanceingdragons
Summary: What if Natsu didn't believe he was fully human?What if Natsu didn't believe it at all straight away?This is a story about Natsu dragneel and his tear stained eyes.
Relationships: Natsu Dragneel & Gray Fullbuster, Natsu Dragneel & Lucy Heartfilia, Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster
Comments: 1
Kudos: 69





	Monster in the mirror

**Author's Note:**

> Lmao so this shit is painful,,, 
> 
> V painful,, & I'm not s o r r y okay 
> 
> Also Igneel is mentioned but only in relation to him abandoning Natsu

Natsu knows his anger is something powerful. He knows that it shouldn't curl around his skin like it belongs there. Natsu knows that the warmth of fire so shouldn't feel like home. 

But Natsu was never supposed to be alot of things. 

________________

He knows there's something wrong. The way the bright lights hurt his head is too familiar. The way the heat from the ground surrounds him is  _ similar.  _ Natsu knows he's not supposed to be relaxed right now. 

Not when theres a monster in front of him. His fire grows around him, soft heat curling and rising against his skin. Natsu looks at the mirror, eyes meeting his own. 

_ I'm not afraid.  _

________________

Natsu lays awake when he shouldn't be. Happy sleeps peacefully, curled up at his ribcage. Silent Natsu wonders,  _ how would he react?  _

What would happen if Happy knew he was END? 

Natsu looks at the ceiling. His heart hurts, the pain from denying who he is spreads. Natsu never wanted this type of hurt. To know that something,  _ someone  _ dwells within him. 

_ But I'm not END I am Natsu.  _

I wish, he thinks eyes drifting back to his best friend, I could believe that. 

________________

Natsu knows he has to leave. 

It's too much. The pain under his skin. It's nothing like his fire.  _ Fire. Warm. Home.  _ Natsu turns and he runs from her. He runs from his family. 

_ Igneel!  _

Tears stream down his face. His heart hurts worse now. The pain is too familiar.  _ Natsu what's wrong?  _ Lucy had asked him. He had ran. It was too close to that day.  _ Too close.  _

**Dad!**

Natsu slams to a stop. He doesn't recongize where he is, he doesn't know this forest.  _ Why did you leave?! Why do you keep fucking leaving!  _

He wants to cry and scream. 

So he does. 

________________

Natsu doesn't know when Gray got here. But he always finds him. Even when Natsu doesn't know where he is. 

_ Natsu.. _

He closes his eyes. The cold air that always follows Gray washing over him. Soothing the raging fire in his veins. He opens his tear stained eyes, trying not to start the cycle again. 

_ Natsu.  _ Gray squats down in front of him. Natsu just watches.  _ Why  _ he chokes out.  _ Why did he leave?  _ Gray shakes his head. Pulling Natsu into a hug. His rival of all people is hugging him. Maybe it's because Gray understands. 

_ Maybe it's because he knows what it feels like to lose people.  _

________________

Lucy hugs him the next time he sees her. She cries and apologies for words she didn't know would hurt him. Natsu hugs her tighter.  _ I'm sorry.  _ He whispers. He knows he's a mess, Natsu is too aware of the monster in the mirror. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hahahaha 
> 
> Thanks for reading


End file.
